Spence's True North, How do I stop Grieving?

Who I Am and Why I Can Help You do:

I am a seasoned Life Coach, Chaplain, Peer Support Specialist, and Veterans Advocate. My journey has taken me from the U.S. Marines to the community front lines as a firefighter/medic and now on to the sacred role of guiding others through trauma, grief, leadership, career struggles, and personal transformation. I specialize in helping people like you—those who have faced life’s hardest battles and need someone who truly understands.

I coach from life—real, raw, and at times, unbearable life. I have walked through the fire of trauma, grief, PTSD, survivor’s guilt, and deep personal loss. I know what it’s like to carry the weight of memories that won’t let go away and to have those photos or those videos playing over and over in your head, to feel like you should have done more, been there, saved them. I know what it’s like to wake up every day with a mind that won’t rest and a heart that feels like it’s carrying ghosts.

For me, the final nail in the wood, was when I was activated to go to Afghanistan in the military, where I trained to lead, protect, and save lives. But when I broke my back in training and was in a wheelchair for a year, I was left behind while my infantry brothers deployed to that terror filled environment. I was supposed to be there—I should have been there. And then, when 12 of my buddies in my Battalion didn’t come home, I was crushed under the guilt of not being there to help as either a medic or to lead them from danger. That loss stayed with me, haunted me, tore at me. It took me years to face it, to understand that grief and guilt don’t just go away on their own. I had to do the work, and it nearly broke me.

Then there was 9/11 as a firefighter. I lost a classmate and two close firefighter brothers I grew up with that day, and in the years that followed, I carried the grief of every brother and sister lost that day, and others lost in the line of duty. Wayne Rosen was killed in the line of duty responding to a call, hit by a drunk driver. I have buried friends, stood in places where tragedy left its mark, and wrestled with the demons that trauma leaves behind. I have faced the dark nights, the sleepless battles, and the moments where it felt easier to just give up.

But nothing—nothing and I mean nothing in the world could have prepared me for the day I held my own son’s lifeless body in my arms. A major car accident. A devastating head injury. I saw it up close and personal. I felt the weight of his body as I held him, my mind racing between the unbearable reality and the desperate, primal wish that I could undo it, that I could take his place, that I could fix it, that I could wake up from the nightmare. But it was real. My son was gone. And in that moment, a part of me felt like it had died with him.

There is no pain like losing a child. No words, no preparation, nothing that can make sense of it. It changes you in a way that nothing else can. And for a long time, I didn’t know how to live beyond it. I didn’t know if I even wanted to. But somehow, through the grief, through the agony of waking up every day with that loss carved into my soul, I found a way—not just to survive, but to actually live again and then thrive. 

I know what it means to carry the weight of trying to survive, the guilt, the pain of watching others suffer, and the struggle of rebuilding a meaningful life after hardship. 

Through my work with the Veterans Administration with Veterans suffering from PTSD and dementia as a peer support specialist, along with my leadership in emergency response and my spiritual care for those searching for hope, I have dedicated my life to volunteering and helping others navigate the darkest moments and come out stronger.

I work with individuals like you who are ready to regain control, unlock their potential, and turn their pain into a solid purpose. 

Whether you are struggling with stress, grief, leadership challenges, or personal transformation, I am here to walk alongside you, offering guidance, strategies, and unwavering support.

If you’re ready to break through the obstacles that have held you back and create a life of resilience, fulfillment, and purpose, then let’s get to work. You are not alone in this journey, and I am here to help you do it.

My journey has built resilience, leadership under pressure, and an unwavering commitment in helping you thrive through adversity. 

Having led in high-stress environments, I will help you by guiding you through the challenges or situations with calmness, clarity, and practical action steps for whatever I can do to assist you in your journey of rediscovery. 

My experience in crisis and traumatic management enables me to help you resolve huge, complex issues that may be affecting you and to help you navigate life’s difficulties with effective, easy-to-learn, solution-oriented strategies. 

I want you to know that you did not do this to yourself!!! 

What you are experiencing is not a flaw, a failure, or a weakness. It is your body and mind responding exactly as they were designed to in the face of life-altering events. The fear response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn it is hardwired into your DNA for personal survival. 

Right now, your brain is guided by instinct. You are just reacting to environmental stimuli and the surge of hormones that take over in times of stress, not by the higher thinking of your frontal cortex, where logic, reasoning, and problem-solving happen.

My role here is to help you regain control. With a deep sense of empathy and an unwavering support, I will provide you with a safe space to explore what you’re going through, to understand your body’s response, and to begin shifting from survival mode to a place of healing, growth, and strength. 

Together, we will work through the challenges that feel overwhelming, equipping you with the tools, knowledge, and strategies to move forward.

You are not broken. You are responding to life the way any human would in your situation. And now, it’s time to take back control not by fighting yourself anymore but by understanding yourself. I am here to guide you through that process, to help you step into the life that you deserve with clarity, resilience, and confidence. You don’t have to do this alone—I’ve got you.

But be aware—I will hold you accountable for your personal goals, not as a critic, but as a committed partner in your growth. 

Above all, I coach with integrity and a commitment to helping you achieve lasting, life-long transformation. as I guide you through your inner and outer battles with your demons to clarity, strength, and confidence. 

My coaching philosophy is centered around helping you build resilience by navigating real-life challenges and triumphs. I believe that true growth doesn’t come from avoiding adversity, but from embracing it with purpose and strength. 

In our work together, I will support you in developing the mental toughness, emotional resilience, and physical resilience you need to not only survive difficult situations but thrive in them.

I’ll help you reframe challenges as opportunities for growth, guiding you to develop a mindset that allows you to confront fears, break through limiting beliefs, and take focused, purposeful action toward your goals.

 By recognizing your unique strengths and experiences, we’ll transform setbacks into stepping stones, creating lasting personal growth and transformation along the way.

Together, we will work to turn your struggles into invitations for evolution, and I’ll empower you with the tools and mindset needed to navigate life’s ups and downs. 

Every challenge you face will become a building block for greater strength and self-awareness. My goal is to help you develop sustainable growth, resilience, and the confidence to handle whatever comes your way.

I am committed to empowering you, my client, by helping you to be accountable to your true authentic self and guiding you to establish and pursue clear, actionable goals and action steps to achieve those goals set and picked by you and your daily needs.

I take a holistic approach to well-being, considering physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health essential for comprehensive wellness. 

Only when you request it will I provide faith-based guidance, always respecting my clients’ spiritual beliefs to enrich their healing journey. 

My methods emphasize a strength-based strategy, encouraging you to recognize and utilize your inherent strengths and capabilities for personal and professional advancement.

My approach blends compassionate realism with practical strategies, offering you empathetic and grounded advice as you navigate life’s challenges. 

How do I stop Grieving? 

Through a philosophy that is devoted to empowering you by harnessing your already lived experiences and strengths, fostering resilience, and supporting holistic well-being within a framework that honors your values and beliefs through rediscovery in journaling exercises. 

I am here to connect with you where you are in your journey. Having faced and conquered my own challenges and adversities, I will help equip you with the same tools that led me to a better, truer, and more fulfilled life.